i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
