ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
