i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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