Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Its about making memories worth repressing
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize