yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
