Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
