conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
