Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
