Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
