Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
