it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
