girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
