he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
