we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
