you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Panties = found
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
