You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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