oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
