My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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