Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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