I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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