He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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