So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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