this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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