so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
