so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
