The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
