i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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