I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
