I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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