There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
