But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
