Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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