We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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