Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
