$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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