America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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