I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
