does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
