yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
