If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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