so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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