sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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