Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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