Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
