Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
