i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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