So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
