bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
They have beer where we have blood.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
