don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
