that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
