he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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