I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize