She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
