so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
