I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
