definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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