clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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