White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
