Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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