There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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