you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
