Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
