I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
