if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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